Five Long Years

Lamentations 3:22-24 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  The LORD is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him.

Five years ago this week, I sat in this same spot in my uncle’s beautiful summer home in Orlando, looking out the window with my eyes, but into the future with my mind. After a six year gap, we’d just found out we were expecting another baby. It was nice to have some time off; to be able to sit for a while and contemplate how life would change in the coming years. At the time, we had no idea the many different turns our lives would take as we experienced circumstances God would allow.

Winter 2012  Shortly after arriving home, Rob received some correspondence in the mail notifying him of a need the US Navy had for chaplains. After much prayer and discussion, he turned in a packet, and waited for its results. At the same time, it became evident I was losing the new baby. After consultation with my obstetrician and a few tests, we got the disturbing news that the pregnancy was ectopic. The Lord was very gracious during this time, as we chose to wait on him for his deliverance. In his faithfulness, he allowed this life-threatening situation to resolve without further complication, and preserved my health. This was a time of tremendous testing of faith. We look forward to meeting several Clark babies in heaven one day.

By the spring of 2012, Rob was already underway with his doctoral studies at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. These studies proved to be more difficult an endeavor than either of us could have imagined. Only God’s grace sustained his work on this degree, while we endured some of the greatest trials of our lives to this point. We are extremely thankful to God for the education he received at SBTS. It proved to be an invaluable asset to his study and ministry.

Fall 2012  We were once again overjoyed to find out we were expecting a baby, due June 2013.  The fall months were filled with our third year of homeschooling and preparation for a new little one in the Clark home. In December, we finally got the news that Rob had been selected for service in the US Navy. He was commissioned in January, and began drilling the first week in February.

Spring/summer/fall 2013 At the end of April, one evening I noticed that I had not felt the baby moving. Now near the end of my fourth pregnancy, I was not terribly concerned, but decided to call the doctor anyway, and was urged to go in. After a brief consultation with the doctor, it was determined that Asa needed to be delivered immediately by C-section because of an irregular heart rate. I was transferred to Women and Infants Hospital, and Asa was born after an emergency cesarean. He presented normally after birth, but went back into the irregular rhythm early in the morning. After 24 hours trying to convert his rhythm, he was transferred to Boston Children’s hospital, where he spent the first few weeks of his life. My c-section recovery and Asa’s hospital stay was another defining period of time in my life. Learning to rely on the Lord when your child’s health is completely out of your control and your own body is ravaged with various health issues can be a difficult thing to do. I found the Lord’s presence to be utterly satisfying, and have grown to look back on that time period as a time of growth in my life. The next months are a blur of trauma room visits and hospital stays. Of notice is the sheer amount of doctoral work Rob was forced to do while sitting on a PICU window sill! The next few months were filled with trip after trip to the trauma unit and Pediatric ICU, as cardiologists worked to stabilize Asa’s heart rhythm with medication.

Winter 2014 February of 2014 found us back in Orlando, still reeling from the last year’s events. During our stay, we discovered that I was once again expecting a baby! We managed to keep the pregnancy a secret from our children and parents while we awaited confirmation from a doctor upon our return home. Rob was scheduled to attend a Navy Chaplaincy Basic Leadership course in the spring. Before he left, I was advised that my pregnancy was in a precarious situation, and I would more than likely miscarry. While Rob was gone, I once again suffered a traumatic, life-threatening miscarriage. It took many weeks to recover, both physically and emotionally. The Lord knows exactly what we need to cause growth in us, and this time period forced me once again to look away from my own resources, and set my eyes on Jesus Christ, whose grace lifted me, and set my feet back on solid ground.

Spring 2014  When Rob came back from training, we began working on the C25K program. I was determined to run with my friend Jenny, who was facing a trial of her own with the deployment of her husband to Qatar. When I hit a wall 8 weeks into training, I found out that I was already expecting another baby!

Summer 2014  The morning of the 5k, Rob brought Asa to the ER to convert yet another episode of SVT. Nearly weekly trauma room visits prompted Asa’s cardiologists to seek a more permanent solution to Asa’s arrhythmias than the dangerous medications he was maxed out on. In August of 2014, he underwent a cardiac ablation. We are so thankful for modern medicine. By God’s grace, it appears that his heart issues are resolved!

Fall 2014  Our fifth year of homeschooling and the last trimester of my fifth viable pregnancy was not without challenge. I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes for the second time, and it proved not easy to control. By the time Rob left for another five week professional training course, I was already injecting myself with insulin four times a day. Once again, God’s grace sustained us. His time away and our time at home went very well. I surprised him by flying down for his graduation from chaplaincy training, and then a graduation party for his doctoral graduation when we got home. These were busy, but rewarding months, and we witnessed God’s faithfulness in the completion of these two monumental accomplishments.

Winter 2015 Baby Addi was born in January, and quickly became the family’s favorite (ask anyone in the family- they all admit it). Her birth had some minor complications, and she spent several days in the NICU, but in comparison to Asa’s birth, it was nearly like a vacation!

Spring/summer/fall 2015 Adjusting to life with five children may be the biggest transition we’ve had to make. Dealing with the logistics of time and financial management, as well as figuring out creative ways to deal with a lack of space, all while homeschooling three children and dealing with the demands of pastoral ministry have stretched us to the max. The Lord continues to pour out his grace on us as we submit to him with each new challenge we face.

Winter/spring 2016 In February of 2016, I finally scheduled a surgery for my hand that was long overdue. Not a week later, Rob fell and tore his rotator cuff in three places. We had surgery within a few weeks of each other. Scheduling followups and PT was a logistical nightmare. But once again, grace was abundant, and we are able to view that time period in the rear view mirror. Rob’s shoulder healed with near miraculous speed. We are thankful that it has not had a lasting impact on his physical fitness.

In the fall of 2016, it became apparent that my husband and I needed some time of refreshment. The elders agreed and graciously suggested that we take a month with our family as a sabbatical from ministry. The extended time would not only allow us time to rest and relax, but would also give him time to get some extra work done that he’s not able to accomplish alongside the normal demands of ministry life. As we reflect on what’s occurred over the last period of time, we realize that all these events have made it necessary to have a period of recovery time. We are so thankful for the thoughtfulness and generosity of the the church leaders, and the tremendous encouragement all our church family has been in ungrudgingly allowing us to take this time away.

So here I sit, in the same spot in my uncle’s beautiful Orlando home, looking out the window with my eyes, but into the past with my mind; and I’m thankful for a few moments to stop and think and reflect on the events of the past five years, and on the faithfulness of God.